Losing One of Our Own
by expressurself
Summary: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own? Spoilers for Losing My Religion.
1. Wake Me Up When September Ends

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 1: Wake Me Up When September Ends  


_"Just know, boys, all of you, be nice to girls, because you never know the consequences your actions may have. A girl is a precious, delicate thing, with a heart big enough to fill the sky. All it takes is a few small words or actions to crush it all or make it soar. There are few boys in this world who are able to make girls hearts soar, and these are the ones who are worth it. The ones we all want to end up with, but have to go through a few scumbags to get to. The one we dream about, the one we imagine ourselves marrying and growing old with. These are the boys who know how to be gentle, sweet, romantic, and perfect despite any flaws, and the ones that we search for years for because they're the only ones who are worth it."_

"Meredith? Oi Meredith!" George O'Malley knocked louder, hoping that his roommate would come out of the bathroom. If she didn't come out of the bathroom soon, they'd all be late for work. And being late as an intern at Seattle Grace Hospital was never good.

"I'm almost done!" Meredith's voice called back, sounding a little annoyed. George sighed; living with two girls was _not_ easy. But it was a hell of a lot better than living with his mom.

"George, is that you?" A quiet, drowsy voice echoed down the hall. He turned around to find his other roommate, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, leaning against the doorframe. Her blonde hair was pulled up messily into a ponytail, but she remained in her pajamas, as per usual these days.

"Yeah, it's me," George replied quietly, walking over to greet her. For the last four months, Izzie had stayed behind at the house while George and Meredith went to work. The beautiful "Dr. Model" had quit the internship after her fiancé, Denny Duquette, an ex-patient in need of a heart transplant, died the night of prom. She admitted to Dr. Richard Webber, the chief of surgery, that she cut his LVAD wires in hopes that Denny would receive the heart, and then quit. Since that fateful night, Izzie hadn't put one foot inside the hospital.

"You okay?" George asked. He was rather worried about Izzie. She stayed at home all day, with no job and in his opinion, no life. She often reassured her roommates that she was looking in the job ads for something else to do, but George had a suspicious feeling that she wasn't. One time, when he came home from an early shift, he found Izzie sleeping in her room, tissues strewn all over the ground, an empty bottle of beer in her hand, and not a newspaper in sight.

"I'm fine," Izzie replied, waving impatiently for George to go get ready for work. Meredith had stepped outside of the bathroom, brushing back her hair.

"Okay then." George shrugged, quickly heading into the bathroom. Meredith rolled her eyes at the sight of her impulsive roommate, but turned her attention to the heartbroken roommate instead.

"Izzie, shouldn't you be dressed?" Meredith inquired.

The former intern frowned. "Why?"

"Did you forget? I told you that Bailey needs you down at the hospital today to fill out some forms, you know, for your…internship." She hesitated, hoping that Izzie wouldn't have another crying spell like she had last Monday.

Izzie stared blankly at Meredith. "Oh." Then she began to nod. "Oh, okay. I'll just…" She turned back around, hesitantly. "I'll just get dressed then."

Meredith sighed heavily. It was going to be another long day.

**Author's Notes: The first chapter's title is named after the song, "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day. That quote at the beginning of the chapter is by a dear friend of mine, KT.  
**


	2. Uh Oh, Accident

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 2: Uh Oh, Accident

"I can drive you home after you're done with the forms, Izzie." George offered, jumping out of the car.

Izzie shook her head, "That's okay, George. I'll just walk. It's not that far."

George remained skeptical, but decided not to push Izzie's buttons. He did not want to get on her bad side again.

The three roommates made their way across the parking lot towards the hospital, when they cut across fellow intern, the arrogant and cocky Alex Karev. Alex was dressed in sweats, running laps in the parking lot.

"Hey Alex," Meredith smiled placidly. George offered him a small smile.

"Hi," he replied, jogging up to them. Silence ensured between the four friends, and the only sound heard was Alex's heavy breathing.

"I'm going to see Bailey." Izzie said abruptly, heading towards her former resident as they entered the main building. Meredith and George sighed, but continued their way to the lockers. Alex, however, followed his ex-girlfriend.

"How are you?" Alex asked softly. Though he hated to admit it, he had missed Izzie. The past four months without her constantly teasing or annoying him had been somewhat dull.

"I'm fine." Izzie replied curtly. She was in no mood to chat with Alex, the chauvinist pig that he was. Yes, he was sympathetic and thoughtful when Denny died, but she figured that was all because he was happy that her fiancé had died.

"Oh, that's good." Alex replied, feeling stupid. He never had this much trouble talking to Izzie before.

"Alex, please, will you just leave me alone?" Izzie spun on her heel, glaring at her ex-boyfriend. "I'm tired and I just want to get these forms done so I can go home and sleep. I'm not in the mood for your shenanigans and I don't want to have to talk to you. I'm done talking to you."

"Why?" Alex asked, confused. What had he done to offend Izzie?

"I know that you're trying to be all nice and caring because you're glad Denny died. I bet you've been laughing about it all this time. Finally, the heart patient's gone. Now, I can get Izzie all to myself. Well, you know what? I told you before, and I'm telling you again, on any day, Denny, dead or alive, is ten times the man you'll ever be! You do not get to have me. You _had_ your chance and you blew it!" Izzie yelled, thrusting herself onto Alex and pounding his chest hard.

Alex stared at Izzie quizzically, swallowing past his pain. He allowed her to continue her physical torment, wondering if it would really help her.

"I hate THIS! I hate having to stay home everyday! I hate having no job! I hate my friends feeling sorry for me! I hate that Denny died! But most of all, I hate YOU!" She screamed.

Alex's shoulders slumped. _She hates me?_ He bit his lip, and decided to take matters into his own hands. He quickly grasps Izzie's wrists, effectively stopping her from hitting him. Her tears streamed down her cheeks, cascading rapidly like falls. Her eyes were wide and puffy, her hair in disarray, but still, she never looked more beautiful to him.

"Listen, Izzie, listen to me. I know you're hurting right now. I know you don't like me very much. I don't like myself very much either. But listen to me," he said, staring into her eyes. "I'm not asking you to get back together with me. I know we're different people, with different interests. We want different things. I know you loved Denny more than you could like me. I was a jerk. I had the most beautiful, intelligent woman who supported me and cared about me, and then I blew it on some girl whose name I can't even remember. But that doesn't matter to me anymore. I should have told you my feelings for you a long time ago and now…" Alex sighed, stopping to rest. "Now, it doesn't matter, because you would never return the same feelings."

Izzie sniffed. "What feelings?"

_As if she doesn't know_, Alex thought furiously. "I love you, Isobel Stevens."

Izzie scrunched up her face into disbelief. "What?"

"That's right," Alex replied, feeling triumphant. "I, Alex Karev, Dr. Evil Spawn, love you, Izzie Stevens, Dr. Model. I've loved you, but I could never say it to you because like always, I'm the big jerk with the big ego. And now," he chuckled, "Now, it's too late, because you love Denny. Even though Denny's dead, but that doesn't matter, because you gave your heart to Denny, and when he died, he took your heart with him," Alex looked into Izzie's eyes, inconsolable pain and fear washing his own handsome features. "It can't be any harder than this... I mean, if I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped."

Izzie remained rooted to the spot, unable to form words. Alex nodded in understanding, and let go of her hands. He backed away a few steps, his eyes fixated on his ex-girlfriend. He could feel everyone staring at him. Dr. Bailey, who was sitting at her desk with a shocked expression on her face; Dr. Burke, who had just heard the exchange; Meredith and George, both dressed and standing besides Dr. Burke; Cristina, who had just come in, looking like she'd seen him naked. Everyone was staring, but he didn't care. He didn't care, because he had lost the greatest thing of his life and he would never get it back again.

So he fled. Alex spun on his heel and made a beeline towards the exit. The doors automatically separated for him and he left the hospital, making his way into the paved emergency lane. He heard a noise. A loud, taunting noise. Looking up, the last thing Alex saw was the sight of a large Hummer truck racing down the paved lane he was standing on. The last thing he heard was his own voice, curses flying left and right, and in the distance, he thought he could hear people screaming. The last thing he felt was something heavy weighing on top of his chest and a pounding headache he wished went away. And the last thing he tasted was his own saturated blood trickling to the hard pavement beneath him.

**Author's Notes: The second chapter's title is named after the song "Uh Oh, Accident" by John Forster and Tom Chapin. The quote "It can't be any harder than this... I mean, if I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped" is from the popular TV show, _Friends_, season 9, episode 17, The One With the Memorial Service, spoken by Mike Hannigan. I thought it'd be fitting for Alex to say that, because it seems like something he WOULDN'T say, but to me, it seems like something he WOULD because that's just the kind of guy he is. Very unpredictable. And it's sweet since he adores Izzie.  
**


	3. Trouble

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 3: Trouble

_Izzie's POV_

I stood there, numb and unfeeling. I could still feel his breath mingle with mine, his words laced with understanding and compassion, his eyes looking at me, _really_ looking at me. I thought I was going to faint in his arms, but then he had to leave. Just as always, Alex Karev had to leave me standing there alone.

I don't know exactly what possessed me to say those mean things to him. He's been nothing to caring and considerate these last four months. I know he comes to visit me, but doesn't have the guts to knock on my door, but I know he comes, because I can hear his voice outside, talking to George and Meredith. Every time he comes, I press my ear against the door and listen. And every time, he always asks the same question, "How is Izzie?"

I know he stays with me sometimes. Sometimes, when Meredith and George are both gone, I can hear his footsteps move quietly in the house. Once, I heard him move towards my room, and I'm sure he stayed there, just staring at the door, maybe one hand raised, ready to knock. But after awhile, he'd just leave.

Alex and I have had a complicated relationship from the start. I hated him at first. He was an overconfident, smug, selfish womanizer, who photocopied pictures of me and posted them all over the locker room. But somewhere along the lines of hating him, I think something else, some other feeling rose. When I think about all the times we spent with each other, the good memories overshadow the bad ones. Like the time he placed my eyelash on my finger and asked me to make a wish. Or the time he barged into Joe's and kissed me in front of everyone. Two of the greatest moments of my life with a man who I could have seen myself spending the rest of my life with….seriously.

But of course, fairy tales only come true in fantasies. Not in real life.

And then, there was Denny Duquette, the charming heart patient who had me hooked since the beginning. Granted, I knew pursuing a relationship with a patient was most certainly frowned upon, but I just couldn't resist him. He was everything Alex wasn't, and I've always wanted everything that Alex wasn't. I thought I was lucky enough to have finally found the man I've been waiting for my whole life, and I was. He even proposed. And I said yes. I said _yes_.

But of course, fairy tales only come true in fantasies. Not in real life.

God, I couldn't watch as Alex turned away from me. His words touched me like magic. I felt like I was in a long-awaited dream, starlight dancing around both of us, and we were the only two people in the world. But, just like Alex, he had to leave. He had to say those wonderful things and then leave. I wish that the hospital doors hadn't opened so carelessly for him. But they did.

My eyes never left him. I stared at him motionlessly, watching him walk out of SGH and towards the parking lot. But he never got there. No, instead, something sped in his direction. Obviously, it was an emergency, for the car plummeted into the paved emergency lane, the very lane Alex was standing on.

I remember my shock, watching as he looked up, standing there foolishly, like a deer caught in the headlights. Something was lodged in my throat, something that desperately wanted to come out screaming. Everyone inside was watching unresponsively. I don't think anyone could move. It's just one of those moments, when you feel like you're stuck to the floor and you can't move, no matter how much your life depends on it. Even Alex didn't move. No, instead, he flew. He must have flown 5 feet in the air before he descended in the most horrifying crunch. I saw the blood spatter everywhere, all over the lane and over his crushed body. It was then I screamed. I screamed for his name. I screamed for his life. But most of all, I screamed for me. Because I couldn't imagine what I'd do if the man I loved died in front of my eyes.

**Author's Notes: The third chapter's title is named after the song "Trouble" by Shampoo. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! **


	4. How to Save a Life

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 4: How to Save a Life

_Meredith's POV_

Oh. God. A million seconds must have passed before we sprang into action. Alex lay unmoving, and even from a distance, you could see crimson blood spill around him. The car that hit him had screeched to a sudden halt. The driver rushed out of the car in an instant, staring at Alex's body. Then it all hit us. One of own was lying in front of the hospital, awaiting death. And we were standing there like idiots, hoping that the past 5 minutes would rewind.

Dr. Burke ran out of the hospital at full speed, Cristina and George on his tail. Dr. Bailey started barking orders to the rest of us, and I found myself hurrying to find Dr. Webber. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Izzie standing there immobile, the only one of us still unable to move. But I could sympathize with her. Alex had said the most wonderful things to her. He had finally told her that he loved her, something she had been waiting to hear for the longest time. But then he had ripped from her side, taken so viciously and cruelly that it was simply unfit. I prayed that Izzie would have the chance to tell Alex she loved him too, because damn it, she does love him, even if she continues to deny it.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that when I finally looked up, I found myself spinning dizzily into someone's arms. Luckily for me, that someone had a steady hold and he clutched me safely.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, rubbing my forehead so as to clear my thoughts. I tried to push away, knowing that I still needed to find the chief of surgery, but my savior continued to hold me tightly. I looked up, furious, and nearly gasped.

"Meredith," Dr. Derek Shepherd stated, his blue eyes piercing my own. He looked at me worriedly, clearly confused by my distress. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head, mumbling no's over and over. Derek grasped my arms and tried to calm me down. Suddenly, an overwhelming dose of fear drowned me, and I felt like I couldn't breathe on my own. I began gasping for air, while Derek continued to hold me, still puzzled and now, fully alarmed.

"Meredith, Meredith!" He cried out, throwing his arms around me into an embrace. I seized his shirt, and buried my face into it, crying. Derek whispered into my ear, shushing me quietly.

"It's okay, Mer. Shh, it's okay." He said calmly. I relaxed in his hold, surrendering myself to him and his comfort and security.

After a few more seconds, I looked up into his warm eyes and found myself smiling. He smiled back, relief washing over his fear.

"Derek, there's been an accident." I explained, knowing there was no more time for me to try and disregard everything that had happened.

"What? What kind of accident?" Derek asked.

"Alex," I stated. "Alex was hit by a car outside. It looks bad, Derek. There was…there was blood everywhere…and…" I felt my emotions running high again, and I took a deep breath before I could collapse into another fit.

"Alright there, Meredith," Derek reassured, "It's going to be okay."

"I need to find Dr. Webber. Dr. Bailey told me to get him." I said frantically.

Derek stopped me before I could move. "I'll get Richard. You go and tend to Alex. He's your friend and he needs you right now."

I nodded, thankful for Derek's confidence. "Okay. I'll go. Find Dr. Webber, okay? Please, Derek. Alex's life is in danger."

"I know. I'll be back in a minute." Derek stated. He smiled briefly, kissed me on the cheek, and fled down the hall.

I sighed heavily, trying to regain control of myself. _Come on Meredith, hold yourself together. _I then ran back to the front, where Dr. Burke, Cristina, George, and several other nurses were just bursting down the hall with a gurney. I quickly followed behind as they pushed Alex into the emergency room.

"He's got a punctured lung, both his ribs are broken, so is his leg, internal bleeding, and head trauma. There's a possible cerebral contusion and maybe skull fracture. This looks like a grade III concussion." Dr. Burke listed. "We need to get him into surgery quickly, or else he's not going to make it."

My heart sunk. Alex's condition was worse than we could imagine.

Suddenly, the EKG fell into a single rhythmic beep. I looked up, my insides squirming as I watched Alex's pulse drop.

"His BPM's dropping! He's having a sudden cardiac arrest." Dr. Burke shouted. "Someone, get me the damn paddles right now and charge to 150!"

George grabbed the paddles in a hurry, and waited as the nurse charged to 150. Then, he pressed both paddles onto Alex's bloodstained chest. Alex's body jerked violently and we waited, staring at the EKG for his heart rate to increase.

There was nothing. The EKG continued to beep infuriatingly.

"Dr. Burke, the EKG is signaling an asystole." One of the nurses said. I froze. An asystole meant that Alex was seconds away from being pronounced dead. Dr. Burke, however, remained ignorant.

"Charge paddles to 200 again!" Dr. Burke ordered. George did as he was told. Alex's heart was defibrillated again. This time, the EKG made a minor change in Alex's heart rhythm. I sighed with minimal relief, as Alex's heart began to stabilize. It was a good thing Alex was defibrillated within 1-2 minutes of his sudden cardiac arrest. If we had waited any longer, his chances of survival would have been very short-lived.

"How's his condition, Dr. Yang?" Dr. Burke grilled Cristina as she analyzed the EKG and wrote down his condition.

"He had a ventricular fibrillation that caused the sudden cardiac arrest. We thought it was an asystole, in which if it were, the heart would not have responded to the defibrillation because it is already depolarized. However, the rhythm was actually V-fib, but it was hard to tell since it was too small to be seen on the monitor. His BPM is now accelerating to 60." She reported hastily.

Dr. Burke nodded. "Good. We need to get him into the ER stat. The internal bleeding's not stopping and it can lead to hemorrhagic shock. Someone get Dr. Shepherd here immediately."

Before anyone can move, the door swung open, revealing Derek.

"I'm here," he stated firmly. He gazed in my direction for a minute, and gave me a tight-lipped smile. "What's his condition, Burke?"

"Punctured lung, broken ribs, broken leg, head trauma, and internal bleeding. He's got a hemorrhage building up and if we don't stop the bleeding soon, it can lead to brain damage. I also found bleeding into the thigh from the femoral artery, which is causing the ruptured internal organs." Burke declared.

Derek exhaled sharply. "Damn, he's going to die if we don't get him into the ER now. Come on, let's wheel him in."

Cristina, George, and I were shooed out of the room while Derek and Burke continued their diagnosis. We waited silently in the waiting room, where we found a shell-shocked Izzie sitting next to Dr. Bailey.

Dr. Bailey looked up at us. She rubbed Izzie's arm comfortingly, and then got up to greet us. "How is he?" She asked worriedly.

All three of us shook our heads. "It's not good, Dr. Bailey. He's got massive internal bleeding, a broken leg, broken ribs, a punctured lung, and ruptured organs. There are signs of a skull fracture as well, what with the leaking cerebrospinal fluid, visible depression in the face, and fresh wounds and bruises on the face. Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Burke are planning on getting him into surgery right now." I said, feeling weary.

Bailey nodded in acceptance. "Okay then. You guys stay here with Izzie. I'm going to talk to Dr. Webber." With that, she left the room.

Silence sliced through the room. I found myself sitting down quietly next to Izzie. I wrapped one arm around her shoulders, but she didn't acknowledge me. Cristina and George moved to her other side in response, but still, Izzie refused to register the fact that she noticed us. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she couldn't see us. Maybe she couldn't see anything except Alex clinging to the last shred of life.

**Author's Notes: The fourth chapter's title is referenced to "How To Save A Life" by the Fray. I used a lot of technical, medicinal words in this chapter, so I wrote out a glossary to make things more understandable. Mind you, I may not have used all of my research correctly; I threw in a lot of critical conditions for Alex, so just bare with me. ****All in all, Alex's condition is not too good. **

**Glossary: Cerebral contusion- bruise of the brain tissue, asystole- state of no cardiac electrical activity, ventricular fibrillation (V-fib)- cardiac condition that leads to the heart stopping altogether.  
Dr. Burke mentioned that the internal bleeding was not stopping and that it could lead to hemorrhagic shock. This can lead to death, of course. And bleeding into the thigh from the femoral artery is very life-threatening.**


	5. Because You Live

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 5: Because You Live

8: 00. 9:00. Two hours had passed since Alex's accident, and still, there wasn't a word on his condition. Meredith, George, Cristina, and Izzie sat in the waiting room for hours, each immersed in their own separate thoughts. Once in awhile, one of them would shift or get up and pace around a little. The interns felt like anxious lions locked in a very small cage, driven apart from the outside world.

"Damn it, what the hell is going on out there?" Meredith whispered. Besides her, George and Cristina both sighed in response.

"Wish I knew," Cristina replied. "I'm sick of waiting. What's the purpose of a freaking waiting room anyways? Don't they know people don't want to wait? People hate waiting. People want freaking answers."

Meredith chuckled mirthlessly. Cristina certainly provided quality entertainment at even the most inappropriate times.

"We'll have to be patient. Bailey will come and tell us if something's up." George said optimistically. Typical George, always the optimist.

"No wonder you hardly get laid, George." Cristina criticized. "If I waited as long as you have in getting some, I'd be dead by now."

"Cristina," Meredith warned. The last thing they needed now was a silly fight over nothing. "Come on now. We're all a bit emotional and worried. Let's not jump down each other's throats, okay? Alex needs us. _Our_ friend needs us."

This shut up the two quarreling interns. Once more, silence fell among the four.

"I never thought I would be here, waiting for him." A quiet, emotional voice spoke out. George, Meredith, and Cristina all looked up unexpectedly at Izzie, who was staring out ahead, but talking calmly. "I thought I was through waiting for him. But somehow, he still manages to make me wait. Like always. Typical Alex behavior, of course," Izzie sniffed inaudibly. "Why does he have to do this to me? Why does he know how to hurt me in the most spiteful ways?" Tears trickled down her cheeks. "What if he's…what if he's going to…what if he's not going to live? How can he expect me to carry this burden when his last words to me were the only words I ever wanted him to say to me?" She began sobbing loudly, her cries echoing the walls.

Meredith stood up first and walked over to her friend. She sat down besides her and took the ex-intern into her arms. "He doesn't. He'll live, Izzie. He's going to make it." One part of Meredith was screaming at her, throwing curses. How dare she make such a promise to her best friend? But the other part of her was calm and determined, confident that Alex would, indeed, survive. Even Meredith didn't know what to make of her feelings.

"How do you know? What if he doesn't?" Izzie shouted.

Meredith bit her lip. "Because…because he loves you, Izzie. He loves you so much. He told you so. He's not someone who gives up so easily, especially when it comes to you. When Denny was trying to win you, Alex fought for your heart too. Alex never gave up, he only let you go when he realized how much you loved Denny, but that doesn't mean he gave up. And now, he's still not going to give up. He'll fight death if it means getting another chance to see you. He'll live for you."

Izzie's sobs subsided to hiccups. She stared at Meredith through her tears. And wordlessly, Izzie nodded, knowing Meredith was right. Her Alex was not going to give up. He was not going to give up, not for his career, not for Izzie, and certainly, not for death itself.

**Author's Notes: The fifth chapter's title is referenced to "Because You Live" by Jesse McCartney. **


	6. We're All In This Together

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 6: We're All In This Together  


"How is he?" Bailey asked as Derek and Burke came out of Alex's room. The Nazi was worried about her intern. Even though Alex needed a strong attitude adjustment, she was still concerned for him. He was a good kid at heart, deep down, he was genuinely compassionate and caring, and she knew that.

Derek sighed heavily, "Well, the operation went well enough. We stopped the internal bleeding just before it could do any permanent damage, but he's still got several injuries to deal with, and unfortunately, he lapsed into a coma, and it's very unstable at this point."

Bailey nodded. "How long will he stay like that?"

Derek and Burke exchanged glances. "We're not really sure. It's one of those comas that could last a few weeks, a few months, or a few years."

"Damn…" Bailey replied softly. "The interns won't like that."

Burke gave the resident a small smile. "Maybe not, but there's still hope."

"Right," Bailey said, marching off to the waiting room. She took a brief look inside and her heart nearly broke in two. Meredith, Izzie, Cristina, and George were huddled in a small circle, talking softly with each other. The closeness was evident. Though she never showered affection for her interns, Bailey did love them all. The four of them, strangers at first, had built a strong foundation of meaningful friendship. They were now considered a family, or in Alex's words, a team. They stuck together, and Bailey knew, now and forever in the future, they would all be in this together.

Bailey sucked in a deep breath and opened the door. Almost immediately, all four stood up frantically, searching Bailey's eyes for answers.

The resident gave them all a smile. "You'll be happy to hear that Alex's operation went fine." The four friends broke into big smiles. "However," Bailey watched as all four faces dropped. "He's in a coma."

Izzie nearly fainted. Alex was in a coma? Meredith, noting the change in Izzie's stance, instantly gripped her friend's arm in comfort.

"How long will he be in the coma?" Cristina asked, desperate for details.

Bailey sighed, "Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Burke said that it might be a few weeks, or a few months, or maybe even a few years."

"A few years?" Izzie whispered. Her Alex was going to be in a coma for a few years? _No, Alex…_

"We don't know. His condition isn't fully stable yet." Bailey said. "But I'm sure that it won't be for a few years. After all, this is Alex Karev we're talking about." She pointed out, hoping to make a reassuring point.

George nodded, "Yeah, that's right. It's Alex, guys." He turned to face the girls. "It's Alex. He's not going to want to wait around for a few years while we get to scrub in and do operations. He'll be out of this in no time."

Bailey smiled. As always, George was the positive one.

Meredith nodded as well, "Yeah, George's right. I'm sure Alex is going to be fine. He was a wrestler after all. I'm sure he's dealt with worse injuries than this before." She knew she was lying, but she was only trying to instill some hope into her friends, especially Izzie, who still hadn't said a word.

"You guys can go and visit him now." Bailey informed them. "He's in room 42. Go and talk to him. He can hear you, you know."

"Thanks, Dr. Bailey." Izzie said, sounding like she had a bad cold. With that, the former intern was the first to leave the room.

"Make sure you guys take care of her, alright?" Bailey ordered the three remaining. Meredith gave the Nazi a tight-lipped smile and disappeared after Izzie. George and Cristina followed, leaving Bailey standing alone in uncertainty.

**Author's Notes: The sixth chapter's title is referenced to "We're All In This Together" by the cast of High School Musical. I'd like to point out one thing, and it's that Alex's room number is very important. If you noticed, his room number is 42, which is "the answer to life, the universe, and everything". Indeed, even if that's not entirely true (Douglas Adams, the author of the book _The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, _said that he randomly chose 42), I have found that the number 42 reoccurs a lot in culture.  
For example, if anyone watches Lost, 42 happens to be one of 'the Numbers' for the lottery ticket and the hatch. And, if anyone's interested, 42 is also the jersey number of Jackie Robinson, the age Elvis Presley died, and the number of hours that caused Juliet to sleep for in _Romeo and Juliet_.**

**(HINT!) I should also like to mention that in Japanese, 4 and 2 are together pronounced as "going to death". I'm not saying that this means Alex is going to die, but we'll see where he takes us.  
**


	7. Get Through

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 7: Get Through

_Meredith's POV_

I hurried after Izzie as she made her way down the long white corridor. I could hear Cristina and George talking behind me, but my mind was completely focused on the former blonde intern in front. She was concentrating all her remaining strength to reach Alex. God, how could this not be a sign of love?

The room numbers started decreasing to the 50s, and before I could blink, Izzie had stopped abruptly in front of room 42. I halted behind her, watching her actions. She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, obviously trying to prepare herself. Then, she opened her eyes again and closed her grip on the door handle.

I entered after Izzie. I did not look at Alex directly; I wanted to see Izzie's expression first, to know whether it was alright to see. Izzie moved around Alex's bed hesitantly, her eyes casting shadows of anguish, but her face was set, determined. I willed myself to look at him then. My gaze fell at the end of the bed first and traveled slowly to his face. I don't know whether or not I gasped. Now, looking back, I _should_ have gasped, or at least made some known expression of astonishment. Alex Karev looked nothing like the once egotistical, brash intern I remembered. I could barely make out any noticeable features about him.

Wires and tubes connected Alex to dozens of machines, monitoring his life. The tubes protruded from practically every possible part of his fragile body. I noticed the ventilator, and remembered Derek's prognosis of the punctured lung. I've never seen Alex so helpless before; he even needed a ventilator to help him breathe. His head was heavily bandaged and yet, I could still see where the blood had soaked through. There was a cut under her left eye and a fair amount of dried blood still remaining on his very pale face that no one had bothered to clean up. I was almost compelled to clean it up myself. Dark circles silhouetted his closed eyes; he looked so exhausted and beaten. His left leg was set in a cast, and suddenly I felt very afraid. Seeing Alex lying there, so feeble and helpless, threw me off. Alex was always the strong one, the unemotional one, but now, he just looked so vulnerable. Vulnerable Alex? That wasn't something I was used to.

I glanced at Izzie, who stood besides Alex, staring at his unconscious form limply. _Too many emotions running all at once_, I thought reasonably. Cristina and George traded concerned looks with me, and I knew we were all thinking the same thing. Quietly, Cristina tracked her way back out the door. George stared at Alex, then at Izzie, and finally set his gaze on me. I could tell from his expression that he wanted me to talk to our roommate before exiting, and I nodded, understanding. Only with my comprehension did he leave. A few seconds passed before I dared move towards Izzie. I pressed one hand gently on her shoulder, but there was no response. I chanced again, but she was still silent.

"Izzie," I spoke softly, "I'm going to leave you for a few minutes ok? I know you need to talk to him. You need to tell him everything that you've wanted to tell him. Don't hesitate; Bailey says he can hear you, and I believe her. Just say what's in your heart. I'm going to be right outside waiting for you when you're done, sweetie. If you need me, I'm just going to be outside. But I think you want to be alone with him for awhile." With that, I squeezed her shoulder, letting her know I was leaving. However, just as I began lifting my hand off her shoulder, she stopped me mid-air. Her hand caught mine. She turned slowly, but her gaze was not fixed on me. I could see tears dancing in her eyes, threatening to spill. She squeezed my hand tightly.

"Thank you." She whispered, sounding like a wounded child. I smiled softly and squeezed back reassuringly. Then, I let go, letting my hand drop to my side. Izzie returned her gaze back onto Alex, and I walked out of the room, but only before taking another look of Izzie smiling faintly at Alex.

**Author's Notes: The seventh chapter's title is referenced to "Get Through" by Mark Joseph. This is just a short chapter reflecting Alex's condition. Thanks for being so patient with me!**


	8. How Did I Fall In Love With you

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 8: How Did I Fall in Love with You?

_Izzie's POV_

When I was 10 years old, my parents separated. I had come home from school one day, expecting my mother's usual tasty after-school treats, but when I opened the door, I found her sitting on the steps, crying. She told me through her tears that Dad was gone; he had packed his stuff and left the house.

I shouldn't have been so shocked. There was plenty of evidence indicating my parents' unhappiness with each other. They fought constantly, over the most minor things too. Over time, I had grown to ignore the disputes, blocking them out. I became disillusioned that my parents were just going through a rough phase in their marriage, but that they would resolve their differences and everything would be fine.

Boy, was I wrong. Dad had had enough and without a second word, he had left my mom and me alone. He hadn't even bothered to stay until I got home to say goodbye. I never saw my father again.

The next few years were rough for my mom and me. She began drinking to cover up her pain. And the more she drank, the less she cared about anything else. I don't even know if she knew she lost her job; she may have been too drunk to hear the message her boss left her on the answering machine. Again, I ignored this phase of her life, burying myself into school. I knew I wanted to be a surgeon when I grew up, and I knew I needed to work hard in school in order to become one. After all, I didn't see my mom wanting to help me.

We lost our house when I was starting high school and we ended up living in a trailer. I hated that trailer. It constantly reeked of my mom's hidden bottles, and it was too small to study in. Plus, I had to face my mom everyday. I couldn't just hide and pretend I didn't want dinner. I later developed the habit of going to the local library after school to finish homework and study. I would stay there until closing hours, just passing time reading. Then, I would stroll around the neighborhood, again hoping to pass time. By the time I went home, my mom would be fast asleep on the couch, with a bottle of alcohol in her hand.

When I was a junior in high school, I ended up pregnant with a daughter. I put her up for adoption, and when she was born, an upper class family from Santa Barbara took her in, christening her Hannah. I knew even before giving up Hannah that I couldn't keep her. I knew there were responsibilities for taking care of a child, and I knew I couldn't be the one juggling those responsibilities. Hannah needed a loving, supportive family and I couldn't provide her with one. My own family was such a mess; I couldn't let Hannah have the same fate as me. She deserved more than I had, and I knew giving her up was the right thing to do.

I always look back now on those years as the 'lost years'. During those 8 years, I had lost everything; my dad, our home, and my mom. I became estranged from my mom and when I was 18, I left that disgusting trailer and her and never looked back. I did underwear modeling to pay for my way through medical school. Only just recently did I come in contact my estranged mother, but since Denny's death, I haven't spoken to her.

The 'lost years' are nothing in comparison to what I feel now. My gaze never faltered from Alex's lifeless figure. I could barely recognize him; there were so many wires and tubes connecting him to those expensive machines. His face was either covered in bandages or blood. I closed my eyes, reminiscing of the good times I had with him. Alex strolling into Joe's and kissing me for the first time sprang foremost in my mind. That act was the single most spontaneous and most romantic feat anyone has done for me. I brushed my fingers against my lips, recollecting the sweet taste of him and the steady uninterrupted pounding of his heart. He had put everything he had, every ounce of feeling for me, every vestige of passion and every shred of frustrated love, into that kiss. At the time though, I was only aware that my knees were buckling and there was a roaring sound in my eyes as if someone were holding seashells over theme. I remembered seeing lightning dance across my inner lids and being caught up in a tidal wave of passion so intense I wondered where it had come from…or perhaps it had been there all long, just biding its time.

I opened my eyes again, staring at Alex. I wished I could will him back to life. I had done this to him. I had pushed him away. If it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't have rushed out of the hospital and gotten hit. If it hadn't been for me, his life wouldn't be hanging on a thread. And to think, if he…if he didn't make it, I would have to spend the rest of my life _knowing_ that the last words I said to him were "I hate you." I couldn't let that happen. I refused to believe that the last words I would ever say to him were so cruel and unforgiving, and his last words to me had been quite the opposite, so affectionate and warm.

I didn't hate him. I couldn't, I never had. I only said what I had said because I was hurt and in pain. But the truth was that the only person I could hate was me. Not Alex, me.

I pulled up a chair besides Alex's bed. Carefully, I took his hand in mine and gently squeezed it. His hand felt so cold I shivered. I paused, looking at the EKG, which beeped rhythmically but slowly.

"Alex," I took a breath, almost as if I was waiting for him to answer me. "I'm going to talk even if you can't hear me, but I sure hope you can. I have no idea how long you're going to be asleep like that, but I really hope it won't be too long," I paused, feeling a bit stupid. But I gathered all my remaining strength to continue. Alex would have done the same for me. "I'm so sorry, Alex." I said quietly. "I'm so sorry. If it hadn't been for me, you wouldn't be lying here fighting for your life. I'm sorry," she choked. "I'm sorry I never told you I loved you. I'm sorry I'm waiting until it looks like I might lose you before I did anything. I'm sorry I never said what I felt when I still had the chance. I just never thought of it like that. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I can't explain it. You've been like a part of me, a part of my life--" I broke off. "I'm not like you. I don't know how to make fancy speeches. But I know what I feel."

I couldn't control the tears anymore. They continued to flow, unstoppable and unpredictable. I looked down and noticed that some of my tears had fallen on Alex's hand. I swept them off, but a few more trickled down, splashing onto his pale hand. I sighed, knowing it was useless. The tears remained as always, just like my love for Alex.

**Author's Notes: The eighth chapter's title is referenced to "How Did I Fall in Love with you?" by the Backstreet Boys. Very nice song and fitting, I think. So, I hope you liked Izzie's speech because I had no idea how I was going to word her thoughts, but she just said what she needed to say. Izzie's 'history' is completely made up, other than the fact that she was impregnanted at age 16 and had a daughter named Hannah (that much is true, according to Grey's Anatomy). The other stuff I made up; her history is just a comparison to her present. It was entertaining to write too, actually, and I think I may write up a history for Alex as well for future chapters. **


	9. I Need You

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 9: I Need You  


_Meredith's POV_

Coffee revitalizes the soul. It stimulates positive energy, replacing the pessimism that once dwelled in your body. But mostly, coffee kept you awake so that you could stay up until 3 in the morning, waiting for signs of life.

Izzie never came out of Alex's room after the rest of us left. George went to check on her after two hours and found Izzie asleep, her head curled on Alex's lap and her fingers entwined with his. I smiled when I heard that; it reminded me of their obvious closeness. We decided to let them be, but George insisted that one of us stay outside Alex's room just to make sure Izzie was okay. George got the first shift, Cristina the second, and now, I was sitting in front of room 42, waiting with a cup of coffee in my hand.

I was about to take another sip; sleep entering my mind, when I heard footsteps. Looking up, I smiled softly as Derek's gaze met mine.

"Hey," I said, as he sat down next to me with a groan. "Rough day?"

Derek chuckled, "It wasn't too bad. Alex's surgery was the worst."

I looked down, sighing. "How long do you think he'll be in his coma?"

It was Derek's turn to sigh. Normally, if it had been anyone else, he would have tried to reassure me confidently. But, I knew Derek, and he wouldn't lie to me if the person was someone close.

"Honestly, I don't know. His condition was pretty fatal, so don't get your hopes up that he'll wake up this week. Or next," he added, sounding defeated. "I'm thinking a few months, maybe more."

"A few months?" I whispered in disbelief. "Izzie's going to go crazy if Alex doesn't wake up in a few months."

Derek patted my hand sympathetically. "I know, but there's nothing I can do. Burke and I did everything we could. Now, it's Alex's turn."

"That's a lot of pressure to put on an unconscious patient." I replied. Derek chuckled, laying his hand on top of mine. I laid my head on his shoulders, feeling secured and loved.

"Thank you." I whispered, closing my eyes.

"For what?" Derek asked, sounding amused.

"For everything," I replied, looking at him. "For saving Alex, for being so calm about this, for trying to reassure me, but most of all, for loving me."

"I'll always love you, Meredith." He said, and his truth spoke volumes.

"And I will too." I replied, tilting my head up to look at him. A flicker of wonderment and warmth glimmered in his eyes, and we both leaned forwards, without hesitation. I felt myself clutching at Derek as if I might fall otherwise; felt him gripping my arms with a force that was painful. I could have bruises, but I didn't care. I couldn't breathe, but I didn't care. I could feel his heart beating wildly against mine and that was what mattered; that, and the pressure of his mouth on mine and the yearning I felt from him as he kissed me.

"Let's go home." He whispered as I rested my palms against his chest. He ran his hand through my hair and pressed his lips harder against mine.

I sighed heavily. "Sorry Dr. Shepherd, but I have to stay and wait for George to fill in for me. If he knew I left during my shift, he'd kill me." I said breathlessly. Actually, I think I was the one who was going to end up killing George for ruining a night of intimacy with my McDreamy.

Derek chuckled softly, "Alright then, but that bed's awfully cold without you. I don't know how I'll manage to sleep."

I smiled gently, "I suppose you'll have to manage. My bed tonight is this wonderful hard floor."

For a moment, Derek was silent, which I knew meant something was clicking in his mind. Then, his eyes lit up and he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. "Hey, I've got an idea that might just be the compromise we need."

"And what is that?" I inquired, curious.

"How about we both sit here, in front of Alex's room, together? This way, George won't kill you for leaving Izzie alone, and I won't be all alone in bed."

I felt a huge smile widen on my face. "That sounds like a fantastic idea." I replied, feeling more energized than when I finished my third cup of coffee. Derek smiled back and wrapped his arms around me, tucking my head close to his chest. He kissed the top of my head, and I sighed with ease for the first time that day.

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is referenced to the song "I Need You" by LeAnn Rimes. I'm so sorry I haven't be updating as frequently as I used to. Everything's just been caught in a tidal wave right now, and things aren't as organized as I'd like them to be. So, this chapter had to be a tad shorter than usual- just a break from Alex/Izzie and focuses more on Meredith/Derek because I love them :) Next chapter, I might want to focus on Christina/Burke or George/Callie just for fun. Anyways, thanks for being so patient with me!**


	10. Far Away

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 10: Far Away

_George's POV_

You know how people say that time flies fast when you're having fun? Well, they're actually right. It has to deal with Albert Einstein's theory on relativity, how time makes fools of us. Isn't it ironic; as a civilization, we control nearly every aspect about the Earth, except for time. It's the one thing that can play tricks on us, kick our asses, and throw us into a black hole of unknown.

Two weeks passed before Izzie finally relented and came back home. She stayed by Alex's bedside for two whole weeks, refusing to leave, even when visitors' hours were over. The nurses and doctors stopped trying to pry her away from Alex, they knew it was useless. Once Izzie has her mind on something, she'll stop at nothing to do it. She's stubborn as an ox. Actually, Alex's pretty stubborn. I never realized how well they complimented each other. Of course, maybe that's because Izzie's one of my best friends and Alex's well…Alex.

When I first learned that Alex and Izzie were dating, I was naturally shocked, along with everyone else. Dr. Evil Spawn and Dr. Model…were dating? It was like one of those moments that repeat over and over. You can't stop the moment, and if that's not bad enough, you have to watch that moment repeatedly until you begin to actually get used to it, which is just as worse.

I have to admit though; I really admired Alex for comforting Izzie through her hard time. He was very mature about the ordeal, more so than the rest of us were. He told Izzie the truth, and that was the only thing that got her out of Denny's bed. After that, he sort of grew on me. He came over a lot, just to visit, but I didn't find it so bothersome anymore. Alex cared about Izzie, genuinely cared about her, and we all appreciated his gestures.

Not to mention what he told her the day of his accident. That moment continues to recur in my head. Alex was saying things to Izzie I never thought would come out of his mouth. Izzie was staring at him in amazement, and then, he left…and that was the last we saw of him conscious.

The last two weeks have been brutal for all of us. Alex was floating somewhere between the conscious and the unconscious. Izzie was always by his side, wanting to be the first person to see him awake. Cristina, Meredith, and I keep both of them company when we're not tending to the Nazi and her orders, but even Bailey's gone soft on us. She's not a big fan of Alex, but she does care.

"George? George, are you alright?" A familiar voice snapped me back to reality. I jerked my head sideways, only to find my girlfriend, Callie, staring at me with raised eyebrows.

I blushed. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about stuff."

Callie smiled gently, "About Izzie?"

"Yeah," I confessed, scratching my head. "And Alex,"

"At least Izzie's gone back home," Callie informed me. "And Alex…Alex will be fine. He's a tough guy. He'll make it through."

I smiled at Callie's reassurance. "Thanks."

Callie smiled back, and I suddenly had the urge to kiss her over and over. I silently slipped my hand into hers, electric shock pulsing through my veins. Callie looked down at our interlinked hands curiously, and for a moment, I thought she might protest, but instead, she gave me a broad smile and dragged me towards an empty room. I smirked past Cristina, who gave me one of her 'weird' looks, and eagerly followed my girlfriend away from the rest of the hospital.

_Meredith's POV_

Warm, gelatinous, perfect for any occasion. The perfect antidote for a bad day, a good day, or any day in between. It's the ideal present a man can give to a woman. It can make you sleepy, but fully satisfied.

"Did you like it?" Derek asked me after I licked my fingers clean of the chocolate. I smiled brightly at McDreamy.

"Very, it was the best I ever had." I told him truthfully. I had no idea Derek Shepherd could make such wonderful chocolate chip cookies. They could rival Izzie's baking any day, and that was saying something.

"I'm glad you liked it." He said, moving in to kiss my cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me you could cook? I would have had you come over every night so you could make dinner for me." I said, adjusting myself on the couch. We were watching a rented movie, and eating the chocolate chip cookies Derek made, and some muffins Izzie had made during the day. She's currently in a pie mode. Everyday, she stays at home and makes dozens of pie. I know it's her way of getting through Alex's accident, and I don't stop her. When Denny died, she made muffins. Now, with Alex, she's making pies.

"Oh I see," Derek smirked, "The only reason you like hanging out with me is for my fabulous cuisine."

I smiled, "You know that's not the only reason I like hanging out with you."

"And the sex," Derek stated without question.

"And the sex," I confirmed, smiling again. Derek made me smile a lot. Whenever I'm with Derek, I can't help but smile. He makes me feel like I'm everything he's got. I've never been treated this way before, but I can't complain. I'm certain this is what love feels like.

"Do you want me to make dinner for you and Izzie?" Derek asked, stretching as the movie rolled to credits.

"Of course I do. It's always nice to have other company." I replied.

"How's Izzie doing?" Derek asked, as we both moved into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator, searching for ingredients. I sat on the counter and watched him pry through the foods.

"She's better," I answered, "She's still making pies, but they're getting less complicated. Yesterday, I caught her making an apple pie, and I took that as a good sign. The number of the pies is always decreasing, which is good because I don't think I can stand looking at another pie for five years."

Derek laughed, extracting a salad bowl. "That's good though. I'm just glad she moved out of the hospital. If she stayed any longer, she'd be a patient herself." I watched his movements as he began tossing salad, and smiled. How lucky was I, to have a wonderful man who made me smile and laugh constantly and who could make anything and everything? My heart went out to poor Izzie, who had lost two men in such short time.

"You okay?" Derek asked quizzically, as he studied my face.

I sighed, "Yeah, but I'm feeling a little selfish."

"And why is that, Miss Grey?" Derek teased.

I laughed softly, "Here I am, with you, and I'm laughing and I'm having fun, but ten feet away, there's Izzie's bedroom with Izzie inside, crying herself to sleep over Alex. Or maybe it's Denny. Or maybe it's both. I can't tell. She doesn't deserve this trauma. She was just getting over one trial before having to face another. I feel selfish that I'm happy and she's not."

Derek stared at me for a few seconds before setting down the salad bowl and crossed over to me. Without a word, he thought both of my hands into his and squeezed them tightly. He leaned forward and kissed me. Our lips locked, he traced his hand around my back, and I found my hands around his neck, pressing myself closer to him. At first I was aware only of his mouth on my mouth, his hands sliding down my sides to grasp my waist and pull me firmly against him, the sweet taste of him and the steady uninterrupted pounding of his heart.

We separated hesitantly, lost in our romance. Derek looked at me, tracing his finger along my jaw line. "We're going to be okay." He whispered reassuringly. "Everyone is going to be okay. You're not selfish; you're just happy, and happiness doesn't wait for everyone to catch up."

I sighed, "I know," I whispered into his ear, playing with his locks. We remained in tranquil stillness, adjusting ourselves to the mood of the intimacy easily. Derek gazed at me intently, studying my face, my expression.

"I'm in love with you." He said, so softly I had to strain to hear his words.

"I am too." I replied, just as quietly.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of you saying that." Derek said, grinning.

My guilt should have ascended beyond all humanely possible levels. Here I was, whole and complete with my McDreamy, who loved me and who I loved back, and I couldn't stop thinking about Alex and Izzie, two 'star-crossed' lovers. And I thought _Romeo and Juliet_ was outdated.

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is referenced to Nickleback's _Far Away_ song, which is personally one of my favorites. First, I want to apologize to everyone who's still reading this for taking so long with this fic. But life's getting in the way of writing, and so I had to postpone my story. Hopefully, I'll have the rest of this story done by the end of this year, if I'm lucky. I hope you enjoyed this segment of the story, which again, doesn't talk about Alex (I know you all hate me right now for not giving you any updates about Alex's serious conditon), but rather about George and Meredith. Next chapter, I promise it will be from Izzie's POV and involve Alex, of course. So, enjoy!**


	11. 100 Years

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

**Warning: Just keep in mind the story's not finished. **

Chapter 11: 100 Years

_Izzie's POV_

Adam Scott once said, "It's amazing how pervasive food is. Every second commercial is for food. Every second TV episode takes place around a meal. In the city, you can't go ten feet without seeing or smelling a restaurant. There are 20 foot high hamburgers up on billboards. I am acutely aware of food, and its omnipresence is astounding." I believe Adam Scott. Food is pervasive. Food is nourishment and comfort.

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food." I think George Bernard Shaw said that. Also one of my favorite food quotes.

Everyone knows that when I need to deal with life, I cook. I cook, I bake, I sauté, I fry, I do everything that involves kitchen utensils and recipes. When my dad left my mom and me, the first thing I did was cook dinner for us both. After awhile, it seemed all I could do was cook. I do love to cook, just for fun, and creating new concoctions is always a treat. However, the most important about me doing anything with cooking is that it helps me get through whatever tribulation I have to face. I can get through anything in life so long as I have food.

After everyone persuaded me to go back home, I immediately began baking. This time around, I decided to bake pies. I love pies. Any kind of pie there is, I love it. Pies are fulfilling, they are satisfying, warm, and generous. Pies remind me of Alex. You have to dig deeper to find what you're looking for, but when you do, it's the sweetest, most succulent treat. Pies don't lie; they're always truthful, and they're tough. They have that tough shell that protects them, but once in awhile, that shell breaks apart to let you in. And when it does let you in, you find yourself very much attached to that pie. And you know it will last.

Muffins remind me of Denny. Muffins are easy and simple. They don't take too much time, but they're simply outstanding. Muffins care about you and feed you well. They're sometimes unpredictable; you may think you have a blueberry but it turns out to be chocolate. They're soft and sweet, tender and loving. However, muffins are rather short-lived. Just three bites and they're gone.

Another week passed before Meredith allowed me to go back to the hospital. She insisted I had to stay in the house for a week to get some rest and relax. On the Monday that I could return, I bought two pies to the hospital with me, one for me and one for Alex.

I returned to his room, somewhat optimistic that his condition had improved. Dr. Shepherd was inside with some charts, checking on Alex's condition. I immediately strode over to Meredith's McDreamy.

"Dr. Shepherd, is Alex alright?" I asked worriedly, setting down my pies.

Dr. Shepherd looked up with a faint smile. "Hello, Dr. Stevens," he addressed before flipping through the chart. "Dr. Karev is still unconscious, but his condition has not worsened."

I didn't know what to think. Part of me was thrilled that Alex's condition wasn't worse than before, but the other half of me was frustrated and miserable that he was still comatose.

I gave Dr. Shepherd a small smile. "Thanks, Dr. Shepherd."

"No problem," he said, tucking his charts under his arm and leaving the room quietly. My gaze remained on Alex, regarding his cataleptic form wearily. The ventilator was still there, helping him breathe. His head appeared to be freshly bandaged, as the bandages were wounded tightly against his head. He still looked exhausted and worn, but the EKG was beeping at a steady pulse. All that was left now was for Alex to wake up.

"Hey," I smiled, moving around his bed to kiss his cheek. "Sorry I haven't visited in awhile. Meredith made me stay home to get some rest. I don't know if she knew that being at home only made me more uneasy," I shuffled my feet awkwardly. I'm not used to talking to unconscious patients. "I miss you, Alex. I'm not going to give up on you. Look," I held up one of the pies. "I made you your favorite- apple," I choked back my laughter. "It took me two weeks to make your apple pie. I couldn't do it at first. I did all sorts of pies- banoffee, cream, blackberry, blueberry, Boston crème, lemon, cherry, custard, pumpkin, pecan, sweet potato, strawberry-rhubarb, mince, lemon meringue, even shoofly. I baked every pie I could find a recipe for, but I refused to bake the simplest pie because I know you like apple. It's unlike you, apple pie. You're a complicated man; you have so many secrets hidden. You have layers, and you're just…difficult and full of twists and turns. But you like apple pie. You like the most straightforward, plain, down-to-earth pie there is. Alex, you never fail to surprise me."

I set the pie down on Alex's table, and watched him calmly. I found myself willing him to life, but that only made me more tired. Yawning, I laid my head down on Alex's bed, my fingers still intertwined with his.

_"Izzie? Izzie, wake up." An angelic voice called. I stirred resignedly, looking up from my weary eyes. _

_What I saw shocked me awake._

_"Alex!" I stared at the person hovering over me. Quickly, I sat up, only to be forced back down by a blinding ache. Alex leapt to action, grasping my head and laying me back down. _

_"Hey, it's okay, Izzie. Just relax." Alex's soothing voice lulled me back to comfort. I couldn't stop staring at him. He was alive! He was alive and healthy and standing!_

_"Alex, I'm so glad you're okay." I said, smiling. _

_Alex returned the smile, squeezing my hand. "I'm fine, Izzie. I really am." _

_"Alex," I began, knowing I had to make my feelings known. "I'm in love with you. I really, really, really love you." _

_Dr. Evil Spawn only smiled softly. _

_"I'm so sorry for what I said to you, Alex. I never meant to. I was caught up in all my emotions and I lashed out on the last person who deserved it. I'm sorry, Alex. Will you forgive me?" _

_"Of course, Izzie," He replied immediately. "I know you didn't mean it." _

_I smiled again, feeling elated. "Alex, I'm so glad you're awake. I know we had our rough times and things have been rocky between us for awhile, but I want to make this work," I squeezed his hand this time. "I love you so much, and I want this, you and me, to work." _

_"Izzie…" Alex started._

_"Please, Alex," I begged, "I love you. Isn't that enough? I know I've been an insensitive ass to you, but the truth is, I love you. I wish I didn't wait until the last minute, when I thought I lost you, to say it, but I'm saying it now." _

_"I know, but Izzie…" Alex took both my hands. "That's not why I called you here." He looked down. _

_"What?" I was confused. What did he mean by that? "What are you talking about? Alex, you're scaring me." _

_Alex looked up, tears trickling down his face. He pressed his thumb against my cheek and caressed it softly. "I love you so much, Izzie, and I wish I could share that life with you. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy, and I was glad to step aside when you found someone better than me. I never wanted to see you miserable and alone, Izzie, and I didn't say anything about my own feelings because I care about your happiness. And when I finally did confess everything, I was glad that I managed to tell you everything I felt. And now you're saying things. You're saying the most wonderful things to me, but I can't accept it. I wish I could, but I can't." _

_Tears began streaming down my own face. I felt my weight crash down, and my grip on Alex's hand loosened. "What do you mean, Alex? Why can't you share a life with me? Why can't we start all over again?" _

_"You can start over, but I can't." Alex replied gently. "Izzie," he stroked my face tenderly. "I have to leave you." _

_"What?" My voice was crumbling. _

_"I have to leave you," he repeated, trying to remain strong. "But that doesn't mean it's over for you, Izzie. You need to get back into the game. You're the most beautiful, intelligent, and caring person I've met. You're talented and I don't want you to waste your talents. Get back into the program and live out your dream. You told me the first day we met at the mixer that you were going to be a surgeon. I doubted you then, but now, I know for sure that you're going to be a surgeon. You're going to be the best goddamn surgeon there is at Seattle Grace, and you're going to be the envy of all the attendings and residents and interns. And you're going to fall in love. Yes, Izzie, don't you shake your head. You know you will. You're going to fall in love with someone who's twice the man I am, who loves you more than life itself and who will give anything just to be with you. And the two of you will start that family you want, Izzie. You're going to have the most beautiful kids, and have a great big house, like one of those houses that only come true in fairy tales. And you're going to grow old, and live out the happiest life there can be. You're going to have it all, Izzie, because you deserve it all. And you deserve it from someone who can give it to you, not from someone who's about to die from a stupid accident." _

_Breathing became a problem as I stared into Alex's tearstained face. He was trying to hold back the rest of his strength, but I could see him faltering. _

_"No, Alex, don't you dare die on me. I've been waiting for you to wake up, and I'm not giving up on you so easily. If you think I'm going to give up on you, you're seriously wrong." I said through my tears._

_"Izzie, please…don't make this harder than it already is. You have no idea how hard it is to say these things to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't want to give up either, but I have to. I'm so tired Izzie; I should have been gone a while back. The only reason I'm still here is because I was fighting to see you one last time. I couldn't go without seeing you again." _

_"Don't say that!" I screamed, pushing Alex hard. _

_"Shh, Izzie…" He gathered me in his arms, soothing my cries and comforting my pain. I buried my face into his chest, sobbing loudly. _

_"Don't leave me Alex. Don't leave me. I need you. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you too." I cried. _

_"I'm sorry. I really am." He said truthfully. _

_"No!" I screamed again, fighting against him. I continued to weep, while Alex held me close. _

_"It's going to be okay, Izzie," he lifted my chin up and I gazed into his soft, brown eyes. He smiled gently, rubbing away the residue tears. "I love you…" _

_He was looking at me with an intensity of passion and affection that made me positively faint; his eyes penetrating mine, flickering with hints of love. _

_Then, still leaning against him, he pulled me towards him by the hand holding my wrist. Surprised, I stumbled, and fell against him. And he kissed me. He had obviously put everything he had, every ounce of feeling for me, every vestige of passion and every shred of frustrated love, into that kiss. As if he were trying to burn whatever it was he felt out of him, exorcise it, and wring it dry. I was only aware that my knees were buckling and there was a roaring sound in my ears as if someone were holding seashells over them. I shut my eyes and saw lightning dance across my inner lids. _

_His voice gave out and his face crumbled; he stared into my eyes for a few agonizing seconds, shaking his head. His gaze was filled with speechless disbelief, as if he'd never known himself until that moment. An ancient and decaying wall inside my heart collapsed with a mighty crash and I threw my arms around his neck with a cry, swallowing past the hoarse sobs that rose in my throat. He clutched me to his chest with panicky tightness, burying his face in my hair. _

_My fingers dug into the flesh of his back but no matter how I tried I couldn't hold him any tighter. My mind was racing. I slid my hands around to the back of his neck to bring my lips to his, hesitantly; his arms encircled me with light pressure to draw me closer. Once the contact was made, however, all restraint vanished as if a switch had been thrown. He plunged his fingers into my hair and I melted against him, tightening my arms around his shoulders as we kissed, caught up in a tidal wave of passion so intense I had to wonder where it had come from...or perhaps it had been there all along, just biding its time. My neck arched, my head fell back as his mouth moved down the pale column of my neck, my hands tangled restlessly in his hair. He took a breath and seemed about to speak; I dragged his lips back to mine, cutting off his words. I angled my head towards him; both of us bound up by a strange urgency that made me pull him closer, small sounds escaping my throat, and made him kiss me harder so I could scarcely breathe._

_"Alex," I whispered hoarsely, starting to break apart. I opened my eyes, finding him breathing hard. _

"_You're an angel," he murmured softly, staring into my bright eyes. My breath caught in my throat, amazed at what had happened. I felt my insides tingle with affection. _

_He kissed my hand, then my cheek, and finally my lips, all teasingly but affectionately. His lips captured mine in a moment that I wished I could capture. Another fleeting second and he let go. He smiled calmly but sadly, and all at once, I understood. _

_"No…" I whispered, still lost. _

_"I love you, Isobel Stevens. I love you. And you love me. I've been loved. And that's something everyone should have once in their life." _

_Alex Karev leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. His lips lingered hesitantly, and I knew at that moment, that the only reason he hadn't kissed me on the lips was because if he did, he would never be able to let go. He squeezed my hand, and it took the last ounce of my own strength to squeeze back, as I was breathless and speechless to say anything to him. Alex began backing away from me slowly, and the last thing I caught a glimpse of was the small, glistening tear that began its discreet path down his pale cheek. _

"Oh!" I gasped loudly as I snapped back to reality. I brushed back the hair that had fallen in my face, and rubbed my wearisome eyes. Instantly, my gaze fell on Alex, and I felt a lump rising in my throat.

_Beep. _The sound of the EKG caught my attention, and I quickly turned around. My heart nearly stopped as I realized the single, steady, unbroken beep emitting from the EKG machine, signaling inactivity.

"Oh my god," I whispered to myself, rushing from the room. I threw open the door, barely able to keep myself from falling. "HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!" My voice attracted Dr. Shepherd, who was walking with Meredith down the corridor. Both of them spun around in astonishment, but one look at me sprung both into action. Dr. Shepherd and Meredith raced down to greet me.

"Dr. Stevens, what's wrong?" Dr. Shepherd asked.

"It's Alex," I said frantically, dragging them both into his room. "The EKG…" But they didn't need an explanation to understand what was going on.

Dr. Shepherd quickly raced to Alex's beside, reaching for his wrist. I stood aside, Meredith holding me, both of us watching intently.

In a matter of seconds, I heard footsteps pounding towards room 42. I felt a brush fly past me as Dr. Burke, Dr. Webber, and Bailey raced to Alex's side. I found myself pushed to a wall, and it took every last ounce of my energy not to slide down and turn into a sobbing ball. Next to me, Cristina and George had joined me, and both were waiting with baited breaths.

"He's gone into cardiac arrest," Dr. Shepherd said, "We need to defib now." Bailey frenetically prepared the paddles. "Charge 200," Dr. Shepherd declared. The paddles were subsequently charged. "Clear!" Alex's body jerked, but the red line on the EKG monitor ran straight. "Charging, 300 clear!" Dr. Shepherd shouted. A thump caused Alex's lifeless body to jerk again, but there was still no change.

"Still no change…" Dr. Burke murmured.

"Charge again, 300 clear!" Dr. Shepherd shouted, and Bailey followed the chief's orders. Alex's body jolt a third time, but he remained unresponsive.

"Come on, charge again!" Dr. Shepherd ordered, growing concerned. Alex's body shuddered again, but the EKG monitor continued running straight.

The four doctors gathered around Alex Karev's bed exchanged weary looks before finally; Dr. Shepherd glanced at the EKG monitor, and then stared at the intern's motionless body.

"Someone want to call it?" He asked, drained of strength or concentration.

Bailey lifted up her watch and choked a reply, "Time of death, 8: 51 am."

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is referenced to _100 Years_ by Five for Fighting. OK, so this chapter was HUGE. Full of stuff. I thought I'd make it up to everyone for making you wait. Now, before you start throwing tomatoes at me for...you know...just remember, THE STORY IS NOT FINISHED! I would never end a story like that, and there is going to plenty of other things happening in later chapters, so DO NOT PANIC! I repeat, do not panic! **


	12. Bring Me to Life

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 12: Bring Me to Life

_Izzie's POV_

"Izzie? Izzie, we have to go." I heard someone, presumably Meredith; start to push me towards the door. I refused to budge though, keeping my place. My eyes never left Alex. There he lay, motionless, lifeless, completely void of any feelings or emotions, yet I just couldn't stop staring at him. It had to be a dream. It had to be. Just minutes ago, I was talking to Alex. I was kissing him. And now…now, I was standing against a hard wall while everyone was convinced he was dead. But how could he be dead? I've always thought that when someone close to you dies, apart of you dies as well. Apart of your soul crumbles, shatters into glass pieces. But my heart was not crumbling, nor was it shattering. And I took this as the only sign I needed.

"No," I said, my voice wavering. Meredith, however, ignored my pleas and steered me towards the door. I knew that within a second, I would be out of Alex's room, and I would never see him again. They would take him to the morgue and they would cover him up so that no one could ever see his charming face again. Or his sexy smile. Or anything that resembled Alex. I couldn't let that happen.

"Izzie!" Meredith shouted in desperation as I wrenched from her grasp and ran towards Alex's bed. Bailey let out a small yelp and jumped out of the way as I threw myself onto Alex's body.

"Dr. Stevens!" Dr. Webber exclaimed.

"NO! Don't you dare!" I screamed as Dr. Webber and Bailey regained their composure and tried to pry me away from Alex. I held onto him though and screamed and screamed. "NO! Leave me alone!"

Angry tears began to drizzle on my shirt, as I held onto Alex with one hand and fought off the doctors with my other hand. I pounded on Alex's chest _hard_, exerting every ounce of emotion left in my numb body; my anger, my fear, my guilt, and my sorrow. I drained these emotions, pumping and hammering Alex's chest until all I could feel was the pain.

Suddenly, two sets of hands grasped my shoulders and threw me back from Alex. I was thrown to the floor and when I looked up, I realized that it was Meredith and Cristina who had pushed me back. However, before anyone could do anything else, we all heard something out of the ordinary.

_Beep!_ Everyone stopped. I looked up, my eyes immediately cast towards the EKG machine. To my absolute astonishment, the EKG was emitting a high-pitched frequency. Everyone was staring at it now. Slowly, I got up and watched as the EKG began to discharge a line. The red line, straight and parallel at first, gradually picked up speed, and soon, the ups and downs of a regular heartbeat began to show. My eyes widened at this, and I stared down at Alex's body, which at once, was starting to show signs of life again. His chest rose leisurely, and for a fleeting moment, I thought I saw his hands tremble.

"Oh my god," Dr. Shepherd whispered, moving around to Alex's side. Quickly, he grabbed Alex's wrist and measured his pulse. Then, he rapidly withdrew his stethoscope and listened to Alex's heart. We all stood there, waiting with baited breath. Dr. Shepherd examined the EKG and checked the rest of Alex's body, before he looked up with the most amazed expression.

"He's alive." Dr. Shepherd said, and I broke out into the widest of smiles. Dr. Shepherd smiled too, and before long, infectious laughter began to ring in room 42. The room burst into ballistic embraces and smiles.

Surrounded by a fury of excitement, I stepped aside quietly, diverting my attention to the ill patient. Gently, I caressed Alex's worn face and his matted hair. My lips curved into a soft smile and I kissed him delicately on the forehead, as if he was a porcelain doll that needed tender loving and care.

"I love you, Alex Karev." I whispered, before Meredith dragged me into a group hug. I laughed with my friends, happy tears trickling down my cheeks. Alex was back. My Alex was alive. And nothing could ruin the moment.

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is referenced to the song "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence. Fitting song for what happens, I think. Anyways, please forgive me for taking so long with the story. I would have given you all a much longer chapter, but I figured you'd rather have a short chapter about what happens after the last chapter right now than wait a few more weeks for the longer one. Thanks for everyone who's been patient with me and thanks for all the reviews!**


	13. A Sorta Fairytale

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 13: A Sorta Fairytale

"Well?" Izzie inquired as Derek exited Alex's room. Meredith and George hung back, watching. Cristina was off retrieving coffee for everyone, and the other doctors were busy attending to the other patients.

Derek smiled, "I am happy to say that Dr. Karev's conditions are stabilizing. He's still asleep, but he should be waking up soon. After all, he's been in a coma for weeks; he's bound to get hungry sometime."

Izzie couldn't help but smile. Alex was awake. He was awake and alive and healthy. She had to see him.

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd." She said quickly before bounding into Alex's room. Derek smiled, tucking his clipboard underneath his arm.

"How are his injuries?" Meredith questioned, stepping forward.

"He's okay, but he's not out of the clearing just yet," Derek warned. "He still has ruptured organs and a skull fracture that could lead to severe head trauma later on if we don't monitor it properly. His leg and his ribs are still damaged, but I suspect those will heal in time. The important thing though," he quickly added, noticing Meredith's distress. "Is that he's out of his coma and he's stabilizing, so with a little bit of physical therapy and plenty of rest, he'll recover as fast as he can."

Meredith nodded, "Thanks, Derek."

"Sure thing," he smiled. "Dinner later?" He asked quietly.

Meredith nodded in response. "7, my house," she whispered, earning a wink from McDreamy as he walked away.

"Come on, let's go in and see Izzie and Alex." George steered Meredith into room 42. The two roommates wandered over to Izzie's side, where their friend was holding Alex's hand and staring at him. The EKG monitor continued to beep rhythmically, and Alex's chest heaved strongly.

"The color's back in his face." Izzie smiled. "He's getting better."

Meredith squeezed Izzie's shoulder, "Of course he is. He loves you too much to let you go."

"He loves me…" Izzie repeated softly. "He loves me, he told me so…"

As if he heard, Alex began moaning softly. Izzie leaned forwards, her eyes widening in anticipation and surprise. Alex continued to moan, his eyelids flickering as though he was trying to open them.

"Alex, take your time." Izzie soothed him gently, though her eager tone betrayed her words. Meredith and George both knew that if it hadn't been for Alex's sustained injuries, Izzie would have probably jumped on him by now in an attempt to awake him.

In what felt like decades, Alex finally managed to pry his eyes open. Izzie watched as he opened and closed them repeatedly and weakly. She wrapped her hands around his and squeezed them in reassurance. Alex slowly opened his heavy eyelids and his gaze fell on the room.

"Where am I?" He managed to croak out. He sounded desperate for water.

"You're in the hospital, Alex." Izzie replied as she reached for the pitcher of water on Alex's night stand. "You were involved in an accident. Do you remember?" She poured the water into an empty glass and held it up to Alex's lips for him to drink. He hungrily gulped the water down and sighed in relief as the cool water touched his parched lips.

"No…" He replied, his eyes finally focusing on the woman in front of him. Izzie sat up straight, suppressing a joyous smile that threatened to spill. Her eyes were twinkling in expectation, waiting for Alex to smile and recognize her.

It was nearly perfect. Alex was awake. He was drinking water. He looked healthy and he was talking. But, just like everything else in Isobel Stevens' life, it was only a fairytale. Or in this case, a sorta fairytale.

"Who are you?"

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is referenced to the song "A Sorta Fairytale" by Tori Amos, one of my favorite songs right now. So I decided to do another quick update to makeup for my absence. It ends suspensefully, and I shall elaborate in further chapters. Thanks again for all the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**


	14. Collide

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 14: Collide

_Meredith's POV_

"Here," George's voice broke through my jumbled thoughts, and I looked at him. He held out the steaming cup and I sighed, realizing that he was handing me a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," I said appreciatively, and began drinking to cover up the silence.

George nodded and began drinking his cup as well. The two of us were standing near the catwalk that overlooked the hospital. In the faint distance, I could see Cristina comforting a bewailing Izzie.

George followed my gaze and sighed. "Damn…" he said softly.

I turned to him. "Yeah, I know." Life sure knew how to screw with us. One minute, Alex's dead. The next, he's alive. And then the next, he's lost memory of everything, even of Izzie.

"You think it's permanent?" George asked.

I looked down at my cup, frowning. Then, I willed myself to look back up at George. "I don't know," I answered truthfully. "We'll have to wait and see what Derek says." Waiting, waiting, waiting. Everyone's always waiting.

George nodded and turned back to watch Izzie. She was hunched over a bench, her head bowed. Cristina was beside her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Poor Izzie," George remarked.

"Poor Alex," I added, recalling the last thirty minutes vividly.

_"Who are you?" Alex asked, staring at Izzie strangely. His dark eyes mistrustfully gazed over at Meredith and George, and he frowned._

_"Who are you guys?" He asked, sounding lost and confused._

_Izzie stared blankly at him. "What? Alex, this isn't the time for jokes." _

_Alex shook his head feverishly. "Sorry, but I'm not joking. Who are you?" He asked again, this time pleading for answers._

_I stepped up besides Izzie and grasped her shoulder comfortingly, knowing this was hurting her. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was going to happen. After all, how could we be so lucky as to have moved out of trouble so quickly? It had seemed too good to be true, and now, my suspicions had been confirmed. We had been screwed by karma._

_"I'm Meredith Grey, and this is Izzie Stevens, and George O'Malley," I introduced; hoping names might help his amnesia. "We're your friends."_

_Alex furrowed his brow, sitting back in great thought. He was contemplating the situation, and I could tell he was still having trouble deciphering our identities._

_"I'm sorry; I really can't remember who you are." He replied, sounding genuinely apologetic._

_I gave him a wan smile. "It's okay. You had a really bad accident a few weeks back. I wouldn't be surprised if you lost some memory of what's happened. Maybe in time, you'll regain those memories again." Hopefully, I thought to myself._

_"Yeah, I hope so." He said, now looking at the silent Izzie. She raised her head, and I could see tears glistening in her eyes. She had gone through so much these few months. First, she had lost Denny. Now, she's lost Alex. I wanted to reach out and embrace her. She was going through so much, and yet, she still remained strong. Just the Izzie we all knew and loved._

_"I'm really sorry." Alex said, directing his statement to the melancholic Izzie. She sniffed once, wiping the lone tear that had escaped. Then, she looked up at Alex's rueful face and gave him a feeble smile._

_"It's okay. I should have known too," she slid off his bed. "We better call Dr. Shepherd in to checkup on you." And with that, she quickly scurried out of the hospital room. _

_George and I exchanged defeated looks. How were we going to get through this one? I looked back at Alex, who was staring at the door with a look of bafflement and wonder. _

_"Are you okay, Alex?" I asked, slightly concerned._

_He nodded listlessly, "Yeah, I'm fine," though he sounded far from it._

_"We better go and fetch Dr. Shepherd then." George spoke for the first time. I nodded, weary and began to follow George out of the room. As I was about to close the door, I heard a soft but distinct word that filled me with hope. _

_"Izzie…" _

"Meredith!" I shook out of my reverie and was met by one of George's concerned looks. "Are you okay? You spaced out there for a second."

I shook my head to clear the thoughts and smiled at my friend. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking."

George sighed in relief. He looked back in the direction that he had last seen Izzie and Cristina and jumped. I jumped as well, startled.

"What?" I asked frantically.

"They're gone! Izzie and Cristina are…oh, wait a minute, they're coming in." He finished sheepishly. I threw him a glare as I watched Cristina and Izzie heading in our direction.

"Hey," I said, as they stopped in front of us. Izzie was staring forward, her eyes swollen and red. Cristina looked both irritated and concerned, which I knew meant that she had tried talking to Izzie, but had failed to communicate with her.

"You okay?" I asked, already knowing the answer. I mentally slapped myself for asking; it was a silly question. Of course she wasn't okay. The love of her life had forgotten who she was, who everyone was. And yet, she'd still say "I'm alright" just because she wanted to disillusion herself from this awful dream.

"I'm alright," Izzie replied predictably. She looked directly at me. "Did Dr. Shepherd give you an update?"

I shook my head. "I think he's still in there doing the…" but before I could finish, Derek strode up to our mini-circle with a clipboard tucked under his arm and a grim expression plastered on his face.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Izzie said, turning to face him. "What's the prognosis?"

Derek sighed and rubbed one hand through his dark hair. "I'm sorry, Dr. Stevens, but it's not looking well. It appears that his brain damage caused both retrograde and psychogenic amnesia. The psychogenic amnesia is lessening at the moment; he can recall his identity and certain fragments of his past, but he has no recollection of his days as an intern or who his friends are."

Izzie paled significantly. The rest of us grew more concerned with each word Derek was saying.

"Do you think he can regain his memory back?" Izzie asked, desperate. My heart tore at the tone of her voice, so lost and frantic. She sounded like a child searching endlessly for home, but never being able to find love and comfort.

Derek sighed heavily, "At the moment, I would give him a 42 of regaining lost memories. I'm so sorry, Dr. Stevens."

And with that, Izzie collapsed onto the floor with a mighty cry, and then fell hushed. The only sound I heard was the anguish tearing at her broken heart.

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is referenced to the song, "Collide" by Howie Day. An update to the glossary- retrograde amnesia is the loss of old memories and psychogenic amnesia is the temporary loss of identity. I'm going all angsty at the moment, and I blame that on my own life experience at the moment. Hope you're still reading and reviewing! Thanks for all the support!  
**


	15. Beautiful Soul

**Losing One of Our Own**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own _Grey's Anatomy_.

_Characters_: Doctors Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd, George O'Malley, Cristina Yang, Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey, and Richard Webber

_Summary_: Being a doctor is hard enough on its own. Everyday, there are lives to be saved, and sadly, there are lives that are lost. However, what happens when you lose one of your own?

_Note_: All chapters will be named after a song, just like in the 1st season of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"_Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives_." _–A. Sachs_

Chapter 15: Beautiful Soul

_Alex's POV_

I stared at the empty glass in my hand, trying to make out what was happening. I was stuck in a hospital out in Seattle; I had been in a car accident and sustained major injures according to the doctor, and I had lost my memory…or at least part of it. The last thing I could remember was graduating med school and I'm fairly certain I was applying to internships, but that's the last thing I can remember. Everything else from then here is a blur.

Dr. Shepherd had explained to me that I was an intern here at Seattle Grace, and had been for over a year now. He told me about my "friends"- Meredith, George, Cristina, and Izzie. I don't remember these names, but the doc insisted that I knew them.

I was pretty sure they were all lying to me. Maybe this was one of those TV shows that con people, and I'm on it. I really hope so; it's the only explanation I can come up with. The next most reasonable explanation is that they're right. And I'm not ready to accept that explanation just yet.

Just then, the door swung open and I watched as the brunette doctor waltzed in. _Meredith_, I thought, recalling our earlier conversation. I'm sure that Shepherd likes her; whenever he mentioned her name, his eyes lit up like a sick puppy dog. Meredith was very attractive, and I couldn't help but stare at her. Damn, I'd like her to be my friend any day.

"How're you feeling, Alex?" She asked me in a consoling voice. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Consolation is the last thing I need right now.

"I'm not too bad." I replied. Well, it was a half-truth. I was weary and drained of all energy, but I fought the apathy with my inner strength. I was a strong guy, unemotional and detached. I never wore my emotions on my sleeve for everyone to see and pick. If anyone can see through your feelings, that means you're weak and pitiful. I spent my entire life avoiding my weak and pitiful side; it hadn't done me any good when I was young and it certainly won't help me now.

"That's good," she replied, looking over my charts. "Well, I'm sure Dr. Shepherd already explained to you your condition."

I nodded, "Yeah, he says I have amnesia due to brain damage from the car accident." It felt weird saying the words; I had no recollection of experiencing an accident, but I know the doctors aren't lying. My body's gone into a lockdown, and I can't feel anything. Everything is just numbness.

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "We'll be monitoring your progress for the next few weeks, so you'll have to stay in the hospital for awhile. You're still recovering from your injuries, not to mention, you're going to have to have physical therapy afterwards." I winched inwardly; I hated physical therapy. Back in my sophomore year in college, I had fallen out of a practice ring when I was training and broke my back. For six months, I had to have physical therapy.

"Do you have any questions?" She asked, sounding very professional.

"No, none," I replied, wanting to go back to sleep. Meredith nodded, tucking her hands into her pockets before starting for the door.

Halfway on her way out, I felt a wave of nausea overcome me, and my vision blurred. I opened my eyes again and yelled, "Meredith!"

Instantly, she sprang to my bedside. "Alex, are you alright?" She asked, and I could detect concern in her voice.

My head was pounding and everything sounded amplified, as though someone was holding seashells next to my ears. I rubbed my head gingerly and spoke out unknowingly, "Izzie…Izzie…"

Meredith's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "What? Alex?"

"Izzie, I'm sorry. I love you." Words tumbled out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop them. It was as if someone had taken control of my mind and my tongue, jumbling words together.

Suddenly, the pain and nausea stopped. I rubbed my forehead carefully, staring down at the white floor as everything around me stopped revolving. Meredith was latching onto my shirt and I frowned. What had just happened?  
"Alex, what just happened?" Meredith asked, slowly and unsure.

I shook my head, "I don't know. I really don't know."

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is referenced to the song "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney. I thought I'd update another chapter since I've been a little behind on this fic. Hope you still enjoy and review!**


	16. Chasing Cars

Chapter 16: Chasing Cars

_Izzie's__ POV_

Why was I always being punished? I have been punished for everything crappy in my life, and it still hasn't ended. Wasn't it enough that I had lost Denny? And now, I'm going to lose Alex, and the worse part was that I had to sit by and watch him trying to figure out who I was. With Denny, I can imagine that in his last few moments of peace, he was content and filled with love and joy. But with Alex, I have to be with him and know what he is going through, because I was the one who put him there in the first place.

I turned around, staring at the hospital. Images flashed, blurring my vision. I sighed, remembering how excited I had been when I first walked into Seattle Grace Hospital. Now, however, I felt a sense of dread. I knew what lay behind those doors, and I feared it.

"Izzie…" I heard George behind me, and I looked down. The last thing I needed at this moment was consolation from any of my friends. They didn't understand this. I knew they were trying to be sympathetic and sincere, but it wasn't what I wanted. It was just a friendly gesture, but it wasn't genuine.

"Please George," I whispered. I could feel him shadowing me, and I so desperately wanted him to move away. "Please just give me a few moments to myself. I need…I need to think, please."

"Izzie, look at me." He commanded, in an uncharacteristically way. I couldn't help but turn to face him. His tone surprised me greatly, and when I looked into his eyes, I could see true, sincere sympathy firing in his eyes.

"It's not Alex," George started, his words capturing me. "It can't be Alex. Alex…" He paused, choosing his words carefully. "Alex knows you, Izzie. He knows who you are. He knows your habits. He knows everything about you, because he loves you. So, this guy, whoever he is, isn't Alex. Not the Alex you know. Not the Alex you love."

My breath caught in my throat. I stared at George, biting my lip. He stared right back at me unfalteringly. In my mind, I registered how ironic this was- he was consoling me. In the past, it was always me trying to soothe him, trying to get him past whatever trial and tribulation he faced, but now, our roles were reversed. I was the vulnerable victim, and he was my savior.

"Thanks George," I smiled, squeezing his shoulder. He nodded and turned around, and I knew he was going to leave me.

"Wait…" I said, and watched as he stood his ground. And when he turned around, I almost smiled. He knew I was ready; he was merely testing me. Wordlessly, he held out his hand, staring at me, his eyes reassuring me. My hands shook, but I raised one from my side and placed it into his. He squeezed my hand and led me step-by-step towards the building, ready to brave the terror inside.

_Alex's POV_

A knock startled me, and I turned to see someone standing at the door. I recognized her; it was Izzie.

"Can I come in?" She asked. I nodded, turning off the television.

I watched carefully as she glided into the room. She was intoxicatingly beautiful, and I vaguely wondered how I met this woman. She glowed unconsciously, and I was swept away by something deep inside me that was both foreign and known.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, somewhat timidly.

"I'm doing alright," I answered, "I just want to get out of here. I'm not too fond of hospitals."

I thought I saw a twinkle in her eyes, but it passed away as quickly as it came. "Well, I'm afraid I can't help you there. The doctors say that you're going to be stuck here for awhile."

"Yeah, so I heard. It's not really as bad as I made it out to be, but I guess I'm just bored more than anything." I stressed.

"Do you want me to keep you company?" She asked. That something foreign and known inside me did a somersault.

"That's very generous of you," I said, choosing my words carefully. "But you don't have to if you don't want to."

Izzie smiled, "I want to."

"Oh, okay then." I said enthusiastically. There was something about Izzie I couldn't quite place my finger on, and it bothered me. And I wasn't going to rest until I found out what.

**Author's Notes: ****This chapter's song is entitled **_**Chasing Cars **_**by Snow Patrol. ****Wow****! It's been a long time since I last updated. I'm sorry for those kept waiting. It's just been a pretty two years for me. But I've got two chapters updated! ****Whoohoo**


	17. Speeding Cars

Chapter 17: Speeding Cars

_Meredith's POV_

"Here," I passed him the sugar bowl. Derek gave me a wry smile, and brushed his hand on top of mine.

"You okay?" He asked, as he mixed the pancake batter.

"Yeah, I'm just…" I trailed off, not really knowing what I was going to say.

"You're just worried. You're worried about Dr. Karev and wondering if he'll remember in time. And you're worried about Dr. Stevens and wondering if she'll recover from her traumatic heartbreak." He finished for me. I smiled at him. How was it that he knew exactly what I was feeling? And when did our relationship reach this point, where we could finish each other's sentences and read each other's minds? Why had I not realized this?

"I love you." I declared confidently. I watched for his expression, but Derek simply continued to mix the batter. He didn't look up, but I thought I saw a trace of a smile on his lips.

Finally, after what seemed like years, he stopped mixing and wiped his hands on a clean towel. Then, he met my gaze and smiled brightly.

"I love you too." He grinned, and moved closer to me. I matched his grin with a smile, winding my arms around his neck. I could count every small freckle dotted across his nose.

"Meredith, let's move in together." He said, very quietly but confidently. I opened my eyes and looked at him, amazed but overjoyed.

"Really? You want to move in together? Share everything? See each other 24/7? Eat dinner together; sleep together, his and her towels..."

"After everything we've been through, I know this is the right decision. At least for me. I love you and I want to live with you. But if you're not ready, I can wait." Derek said, giving me one of his affectionate smiles.

I bit my lip. Derek's confidence was comforting. I was still wavering; after all, my relationships with men have never been so trusting or lasting. With Derek, everything felt different. He was now a constant in my life that drove me every day. I saw him on a daily basis and he was always over anyways. There wouldn't be too many differences in him actually living in the same house as me. Except of course, with the addition of another member, our house was going to be a bit more crowded than before. But everything and everyone was already hectic. How much different could it be with Derek around? He could even help iron out a few issues. It wasn't such a bad idea, now that I've come to think about it.

"Alright," I affirmed, smiling slightly. "Let's live together."

Derek broke into the brightest smile possible. His eyes lit up with ecstasy and delight. Without a word, he picked me up, twirled me around, and kissed me. My smile widened with each action. I knew at that moment, I had made the best choice of my life.

**Author's Notes: This chapter's title is entitled **_**Speeding Cars**_** by Imoghen Heap. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, even though it was short!**


	18. Secret Valentine

**Author's Note: Hello everyone, thank you so much for bearing with me. I know it's been a very long time since I last updated, and I apologize for that. But you should definitely thank my boyfriend for reminding me about fanfiction and my stories because it got me back to writing again :) Anyways, here's chapter 18. I hope everyone enjoys it, and stay tuned for chapter 19! Thanks everyone! 3 **

Chapter 18: Secret Valentine

_Izzie's POV_

"No, it's caramel! You and I both know I'm right." I said, playfully punching Alex in the arm. He winced a little, but smiled nevertheless.

"Women always think they're right. They're just too stubborn to ever realize that sometimes a man can be right too." Alex shot back, grinning.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. It felt good to be laughing and joking again. The uncomfortable silence had passed between us, and now it almost seemed as if Alex and I had not been apart. We fit together like a latex glove. Somewhere inside my mind, I could almost tell myself that Alex hadn't been involved in any accident and hadn't lost his memory of me and the past year, but then again, I'm not stupid or naïve. I know he doesn't remember who I am, what we were before, what he means to me. All he knows is the life he led before.

Alex stopped smiling and without a word, reached up and touched my cheek. I stopped breathing for that moment, focusing entirely on his hand grazing my face. His hands were warm and his touch was soft and comforting. I almost closed my eyes, but suddenly, he stopped.

"You're beautiful," He said, his voice low and gentle. I trembled in my seat.

"Thank you," I murmured, quite taken aback by his sudden tenderness.

"I wish I remembered, I really do," Alex said, staring at me intently, as though perhaps if he stared hard enough, he would remember everything.

"Me too," I replied wholeheartedly. Nothing would please me more than if he could remember.

"Will you tell me then? Everything? Doctor Shepherd, he said I was an intern, and that you and I were friends. Can you tell me the story of our friendship and my internship?" He was pleading. I could see it in his eyes. He really did want to remember.

Part of me wanted to jump right in and tell him everything that had happened. Maybe if I just told him that we were in love, he and I could just pick up where the old Alex and I had left off. But I knew that could never happen. It would not be real love; it would only be the fabricated love I invented so I could be instantly happy. No, I couldn't tell him about us. At least, not us as we were supposed to be if he hadn't lost his memory.

"Alright, I'll tell you about the internship and your friends." I smiled, and Alex's face lit up with glee.

"Hmm, where do I start? Well, I suppose it was more than a year ago and Meredith, Cristina, George, and I were assigned under the Nazi…"

_Alex's POV_

I stared at Izzie as she told me how I secured a position in the surgical residency program at Seattle Grace Hospital after graduating from the University of Iowa. I smiled as she smiled when she told me how I had rubbed everyone the wrong way on my very first day of being an intern. Apparently, I had dubbed George "007" and called Meredith a nurse. Whoops, I definitely didn't mean to do that. At least, I hope not. I didn't think of myself as a bad person.

Izzie went on to tell me how I became reassigned to Dr. Bailey, who was dubbed the "Nazi" because she was tough and blunt, but also very supportive. I blushed with shame when I heard about how I posted photos of Izzie when she was a lingerie model all over the hospital. It appears that I have done a number of humiliating, evil things towards the other interns during my first year.

I sat back as Izzie continued her story, and looked at her. I really looked at her; past her beautiful blonde locks and swirling green eyes, although I felt lured into them slowly. I tried to look into her soul, because I could tell that there was much more to Izzie Stevens. She had a sort of hard sadness around her, almost as if she was carrying a weight that she couldn't bear for too much longer. Her life was not easy, the way she carried herself, but she was obviously a very strong and intelligent woman, who could survive. She was a survivor and she took care of others all the time, but it was evident that she desperately wanted someone to hold her or to take care of her for once.

"Izzie, can I ask you something?" I interrupted. She blinked, surprised, but nodded feebly.

"When was the last time you had a proper dinner?" I asked, shocking myself. I don't remember the last time I've ever been this formal asking a girl out.

Izzie smiled a little, thought about it for a minute, and then laughed. I smiled too; whenever she laughed or smile, I couldn't help but smile too.

"Gosh, it's been forever. That's the problem with being an intern. You're on call 24/7 and there's never a minute to breathe. Even when you're sleeping, you're thinking about surgery. So I guess it's been a long time since I've been to a proper dinner."

I sucked in deep breath. Here's my chance to ask out the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I felt a rare but familiar connection with her, and I knew that there was something there. It was as if I knew her, everything about her. I knew her better than anyone, ironically.

"Well, if you're not busy," I laughed at this, and so did she, "Maybe someday, when I'm recovered and walking, we could go out and have a nice meal?"

Izzie stared at me, her mouth agape. But I stared at her eyes again. The best way to see a person is through their eyes. Every reaction and emotion can be seen if you just look past the eyes and into their heart. And I could tell that her heart was saying yes.

"Yes," she smiled brightly, "I'd love to, once you're better of course."

I took her hands in my mine and kissed her left hand. She blushed furiously, but looked very pleased.

"But, you can't tell anyone," she suddenly added, as though she remembered some sort of afterthought. "It's kind of against hospital rules that a doctor date a patient."

I nodded, "I understand. It'll just be our little secret."

Izzie smiled, "Yes, our little secret."

**Note: This chapter's title is referenced to "Secret Valentine" by We the Kings, which is one of my favorite artists. I love their songs, especially this one. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	19. First Date

Chapter 19: First Date

_Meredith's POV_

_Two months later…_

"Here, let me take that box," I said as George nearly fell on two boxes stacked in the hallway.

"Meredith, where do you want this?" Izzie asked as she held up a stack of Derek's books.

"Um, just put them on the coffee table for now," I said as I struggled with the box I had taken from George.

"Can't I just put them in the bookshelf?" Izzie asked loudly as I tried to make it up the stairs.

"No, it's full right now. Just leave it on the coffee table!" I repeated. It was a Saturday and my friends had all volunteered to help Derek move his stuff into the house. The day quickly turned hectic as everyone was moving around in such a small place, with boxes littered every which way.

"Hey, Meredith, should I just put all of Derek's boxes that are marked 'Clothes' into your bedroom?" Alex asked, as he passed me by on the stairs.

"Yeah, that's perfectly fine." I said, still struggling with the box.

"Here, let me take that," Alex smiled, taking the box from me. I smiled too; in the last two months, Alex had made quite a recovery. He was walking and he had managed to recover some of his lost memory. He remembered his days from college quite fondly and on some good days, he even recalled the adventures of the early days of his internship. He wasn't the same Alex I knew before; not the brash, sardonic Alex we all somehow managed to love, but he was much more considerate, compassionate, and helpful than the old Alex had been. It was quite a dramatic change, but we were just glad he was okay.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, as I followed Alex to my bedroom. He placed the box down on the floor, stretching himself as he stood up.

"Pretty good, my legs are still shaky sometimes, but otherwise, I feel loads better. Thanks for everything, by the way. You and the others made everything a lot easier for me, and I appreciate it." Alex gave me a grateful smile.

"Of course, it was the least I could do." I replied, smiling. As we walked out of the bedroom and toward the stairs, I couldn't help but think of something that I had been meaning to ask him for awhile now.

"So Alex, how are you and Izzie doing?" I asked nonchalantly as we began descending down the stairs.

Alex nearly tripped, but I quickly steadied him. I smiled to myself.

"Um…what do you mean? You see Izzie all the time. Isn't she doing well?" Alex stammered.

I rolled my eyes. This was typical behavior for two people trying to hide their relationship, when in reality; the entire hospital knew that Izzie and Alex have been dating for six months.

I first found out about Alex and Izzie about a month after we discovered Alex's memory loss. I was getting some supplies from the closet when I heard them talking quietly inside. And of course, being me, I eavesdropped.

_"Izzie, why are we inside a closet?" _

_"Because…then we can have some privacy." _

_"Have some privacy or not be seen by other people?" _

_"Alex…"_

_"Izzie, I know you said that you didn't want anyone knowing about us dating because a doctor can't date a patient but…I don't know. It's not really about that anymore, is it?" _

_There was silence as Izzie tried to come up with an answer. I started backing away, wondering if maybe Izzie would suddenly storm out of the closet._

_"You're right. It's not the doctor-patient thing anymore. I guess I don't want to tell everyone because I'm scared. These two months have been really, really wonderful, Alex, they have, but for me, every time I'm in a relationship and things seem to be progressing really well, something happens." _

_"Like what?" _

_"Well," she hesitated and I knew she was thinking about Denny, "I had a fiancé, but he died. He was a patient, here for a heart transplant. We grew very close and he asked me to marry him. I agreed, but he died afterwards. And before him, there was this other guy," I heard her words begin to slur together, and my own heart began to quicken. She was going to talk to Alex about Alex. "Before Denny, I was dating this amazing guy. But things didn't work out for us either. It's a shame really, I really did love him." _

_Silence ensued again, but I knew that at that moment, Alex was enveloping Izzie in a heartwarming embrace. _

_"Izzie, you don't have to worry about getting hurt anymore. Because I, Alex Karev, promise you that I'll always be here besides you, whenever you need me. I won't leave you like Denny and that other guy. I will be what you always wanted and what you deserve." _

_I smiled, and tiptoed away, given the couple the alone time they deserved. _

"Alex…" I was about to tell him that he didn't need to hide his secret anymore, when suddenly the front door opened. Derek walked in, carrying a big box. I rushed over to my boyfriend, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Is this the last of it?" I asked, looking behind him to the car.

"Yep," Derek smiled, "This is the last one. How's the unpacking going?" He put the box down and kissed me on the forehead.

"Eh, it's coming along. With you here now though, hopefully we can be done by dinner." I walk into the kitchen, pouring a glass of lemonade.

Derek laughed, "No offense Meredith, but with you on the unpacking team, we won't be done by tomorrow's dinner."

**Author's Note: This chapter's title is referenced to "First Date" by Blink 182. Also a good song :) Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	20. Life in Technicolor

**Author's Note: Hi, everyone! I'm sorry it's been ages since my last update. Well, the story is pretty much going to be wrapped up in this chapter. I know I could have expanded this to many more chapters or even a possible sequel, but since it's already been such a long time, I decided to finish the story. Besides, you can definitely imagine creative scenarios between the characters and this story would have continued for chapters and chapters. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed the story; I really appreciate it all. Thanks for sticking with this story. I'm sorry it couldn't have continued, but I'm sure those reading will continue it somehow in their minds or on paper/computer. Thank you again! **

Chapter 20: Life in Technicolor

_Izzie's POV_

"Where are my shoes?" I looked frantically around, trying to find my favorite pair of sneakers. I was running late to the hospital but couldn't find the shoes I usually wore.

"They're by the door. I put them there with a clean pair of socks this morning." Alex said, coming up to me with his bowl of cereal. I quickly walked over to the door and put my socks and shoes on. Then, I stood up and went over to sit down beside my fiancé.

"Thanks, hon. Ready to go?" Even though I was running late, I enjoyed these little moments before heading off to work, such as sitting next to the love of my life doing simple things like eating breakfast and talking. These quiet moments made me feel rejuvenated and happy, almost as happy as the way Alex makes me feel.

He asked me to marry him just last week. We were coming back from the bar when Alex noticed a nearby park and veered us towards it. I thought he wanted to walk and talk for a little; he had taken a great liking to walks while recovering. About ten minutes into walking, he asked me to marry him. It was so simple and yet memorable; a very Alex-like proposal. He knew me, of course. His words were honest and sincere and for me, that was more than enough.

His memory never fully came back, but it didn't matter anymore. He remembered most of his life, which was pretty incredible given the severity of the accident. What he didn't remember, I tried to fill him in. He would laugh and smirk at things he had done before, as though he was listening to a bedtime story. He was accepting of what he couldn't remember, and told me that it wasn't important. "The past doesn't matter to me, Iz," I remember him telling me one day after I told him about a surgical procedure he had done. "I just care about my future with you." After that, I realized we were an _us_ and what really mattered to Alex (and myself) wasn't that he remembered everything in his life up to that point but the possible life he could have in the future. A future with me. A future with him. A future with the two of us.

We told our friends two days after the engagement. Deciding to wait was a mutual agreement; we wanted to spend a day, just the two of us, basking in our engagement. Both of us knew that once the entire hospital found out, it would be a hectic engagement until the actual wedding ceremony. I remembered Meredith and Derek's wedding and how busy we were when they announced their engagement. It would be no exception for our wedding.

_Wedding… a wedding… I, Isobel Stevens, will be marrying Alex Karev…_ the thought often came up nowadays. When it did, I couldn't help but feel absolutely elated. I was going to be Alex's wife. After all that we've been through together, we were finally going to be married.

"And I can't wait," I whispered as I watched my husband-to-be grab a jacket. He shoved his cell phone into his front pocket and bent down to tie his shoes.

"Come on, beautiful. We better get going." Alex waved me over to the door. I stood up, once again basking in a little moment of mine. I looked around at all the changes. Not too long ago, I thought I had hit rock bottom, what with Denny's death and Alex's amnesia. But now, I was living with Alex, we were engaged and we were going to be spending the rest of our lives together. I realized that if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life will give it to you. And what had life given me?

Only a second chance with the love of my life.

**Note: This chapter's title is referenced to "Life in Technicolor" by Coldplay, which is one of my favorite songs. Thanks for reading everyone!**


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